I love ninja movies. Growing up I was a huge fan of stuff like Revenge of the Ninja and American Ninja, but this movie here has to be a joke. First I have to give you some background on this Ninja series of movies. There was Enter the Ninja, which features Sho Kosugi, the ultimate bad-ass ninja on the planet – if it’s a ninja movie and Sho Kosugi is not in it, then it’s not a ninja movie. Anyway, Enter the Ninja is about a white dude that travels to Japan and becomes a ninja, which is basically unheard of because ninjas are so secretive, I mean how do you find a ninja school? Did this guy just land in Japan and pick up the Yellow Pages and call around looking for a school? Did he know someone that was a ninja? So he becomes a ninja, but this pisses off the main ninja guy, none other than Sho Kosugi. He’s basically upset because he doesn’t think that ninjitsu should be taught to white people, especially white guys with mustaches. The white ninja ends up kicking some serious ass in the movie and the film itself is not that bad!
Revenge of the Ninja is a much better movie. The main star is Sho Kosugi who moves to good ol’ USA to get a better life for himself after a clan of ninjas killed his entire family (I can’t remember why, I’ll have to watch again). Some shit goes down in the US and he ends up having to fight a white ninja (not the same one from Enter the Ninja) and it’s pretty much one of the best ninja movies that came out back in the 80′s. The funny thing is though, in Enter the Ninja, Sho is a total asshole and he dies (sorry for the spoiler) by having his head cut off. So Enter and Revenge are no way related.
On to Ninja III. I remember seeing this video so many times in the video store when I was a kid but I never rented it. The cover looks bad-ass though! Well, years later I finally decided to watch it. To be honest, I only watched the first 10 minutes of this film because it was so ridiculously bad. It starts off with some rich white guy playing golf and he’s got a hot babe in the golf cart plus a bunch of security guys standing around, like as if they’re just waiting for an attack! Then here comes this ninja out of nowhere, he kills the entire security team, slices up the hot chick, then slashes the rich guy across the face. He runs away and hides in the bushes when a couple of security guards show up after the fact. Now is when the action starts. It seems like the entire city’s police force has descended on this golf course (how did they get there so fast?!?) and they’re chasing down the ninja in broad daylight. He jumps on the hood of the police car, stabs one cop by putting his sword through the roof and into his neck, then puts his FIST through the roof and all with the same punch/fist, he punches the driver out cold!!! Normally I would say this guy is a bad motherfucker but it was so ridiculous that it’s just ginormously ridiculous.
Oh, then he shoots ninja stars at the two trailing motorcycle cops, taking them out, that’s when the police helicopter arrives!!!! I can’t remember how (I was doing other stuff while watching this shit) but the ninja ended up IN the helicopter and managed to take the whole thing down and fake his death. But wait! A very attentive police officer notices a bamboo straw sticking out of the water and it’s moving… he moves in closer and it’s the ninja! He shoots a dart right at the guy’s face and he dies or something. This is when about 1,542 cops surround the ninja and begin to open fire on him, knocking him down, bullet holes all over the body. Four cops move in close then the ninja bounces back up , slicing all four cops at once across the stomach, when the cops begin to shoot him some more. He finally goes down but wait! He gets up AGAIN taking out a few more cops, then finally smashing a smoke bomb in front of him, making him disappear. The cops are baffled so they spread out to look for him, that’s when we see the ninja isn’t gone at all – he simply buried himself underneath the sand, yes under the sand in the blink of an eye.
Apparently after this, the ninja comes across a hot chick nearby (where strangely there’s no cops anywhere, and I guess she’s deaf because she didn’t hear any gunshots) and he stares at her and possesses her. Yeah ninjas are magicians, philosophers, and even hypnotists.
I highly recommend this movie if you’re retarded and like poo.
Save yourself the trouble and watch the opening 10 minutes like I did:
