So here we have The Incubus, a flick that takes place in a New England town (which is always the best for horror movies) and people are getting fucked up and murdered, which is always awesome. The movie doesn’t go into the history of why what’s happening is happening, all we know is people are being killed.

It starts off with a douchebag couple hanging out by a lake just chilling and the guy calls the girl a bitch for some reason then runs away. Hey, who’s the bitch here?!? Something happens (I won’t say what) and shit goes down. What’s cool about this movie is the music at the beginning, that’s what drew me in because to me that’s what makes or breaks a lot of movies. If you have good music and in this case, creepy music, then it will only help the movie. (Read More…)

Mortuary is an early 80′s slasher flick featuring none other than a young Bill Paxton. The story revolves around a cloaked killer who targets a select group of people, and impales them with a nifty embalming tool. At the start of the flick, the audience witnesses the death of a man by a swimming pool, killed with a blunt object. We find out later that this character was the father of one of the lead female characters (Christie). From then, we’re introduced to another main character, Greg, and his friend who I can’t remember. They break into a mortuary where the friend works to steal some shit. (Read More…)

So here we have a movie titled Nightwish from 1989. It features a bunch of no name actors, but it does feature Brian Thompson, the rugged looking bounty hunter from the x-files, and countless other films/tv shows. Basically, the plot of this movie is that a bunch of student head to a supposedly haunted mansion with their professor to research some reported ghostly phenomena and other weirdness. At the start of the film, you have students in a lab being subjected to isolation chambers where they have fucked up dreams and all that good stuff. Then shortly after that, they head to the mansion. (Read More…)

Island of the Damned is a pretty fucked up movie from the 70′s. The story revolves around a couple that visit an island where the husband had previously visited years ago. The big difference between his trip now and back in his hay day, is that the main center of town is deserted. After searching around town for a bit, they rest up at a restaurant, where they confront a young child, who quickly runs off after failing to communicate.  After the husband finds a phone, he hears a woman’s voice on the phone, but the woman is speaking German, so he can’t understand, but realizes she’s in distress. Things on the island are not as they seem apparently. A while later, an elderly man pops up out of nowhere, and is brutally bludgeoned to death by a disturbingly cheerful young teenage girl. After the wife of the couple witnesses this event, she freaks out and from hereon, the shit hits the fan. We’re introduced to new characters, an older gentleman who knows that something is wrong on the island confronts the couple, saying that the children on the island have gone mad. Of course, he gets brutally mauled to death after being led by one of the children who tells the man they know where his child is. (Read More…)

So here we have this awesome early 1980′s movie about werewolves in London. Sounds bad, right? Absolutely not!

It starts with two guys that are best friends, back-packing through the English countryside with plans to head off to different parts of Europe later on. On a cold night rocking a full moon, they quickly take shelter in a Pub/Inn in a tiny village. As soon as they walk in, they realize that they’ve walked into either something weird or straight up trouble. The music stops, all the people in there are just staring at them like they’re some sort of freaks from another planet, but they sit down to drink some tea and hopefully get something to eat when they notice a pentagram on the wall with candles, etc. One of the guys is uncomfortable with the idea of asking everyone why the pentagram is on the wall, but his friend asks anyway, only to be greeted with pure silence and stares again. (Read More…)

I love ninja movies. Growing up I was a huge fan of stuff like Revenge of the Ninja and American Ninja, but this movie here has to be a joke. First I have to give you some background on this Ninja series of movies. There was Enter the Ninja, which  features Sho Kosugi, the ultimate bad-ass ninja on the planet – if it’s a ninja movie and Sho Kosugi is not in it, then it’s not a ninja movie. Anyway, Enter the Ninja is about a white dude that travels to Japan and becomes a ninja, which is basically unheard of because ninjas are so secretive, I mean how do you find a ninja school? Did this guy just land in Japan and pick up the Yellow Pages and call around looking for a school? Did he know someone that was a ninja? So he becomes a ninja, but this pisses off the main ninja guy, none other than Sho Kosugi. He’s basically upset because he doesn’t think that ninjitsu should be taught to white people, especially white guys with mustaches. The white ninja ends up kicking some serious ass in the movie and the film itself is not that bad!

Revenge of the Ninja is a much better movie. The main star is Sho Kosugi who moves to good ol’ USA to get a better life for himself after a clan of ninjas killed his entire family (I can’t remember why, I’ll have to watch again). Some shit goes down in the US and he ends up having to fight a white ninja (not the same one from Enter the Ninja) and it’s pretty much one of the best ninja movies that came out back in the 80′s. The funny thing is though, in Enter the Ninja, Sho is a total asshole and he dies (sorry for the spoiler) by having his head cut off. So Enter and Revenge are no way related.

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When you think of “badass”, who comes to mind? Seagal? Bruce Lee? How about Michael Dudikoff? Didn’t think so. However, Dudikoff was like a low budget version of Chuck Norris, if you will. Well in 1986, he was the main character in a film called Avenging Force, which is about a bunch of racist and rich white folk from the deep south (New Orleans to be exact), and their favorite pastime is hunting – wait for it – people!

In case you’re looking at the above movie poster and thinking “wait a second, I know that guy!”, well that means you recognize Dudikoff as the one, the only, American Ninja!

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I have a lot of fond memories of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, as I was a youngin’ at the time, and horror movies were just as big a deal to me then as they are now. Part two of the series is a bit different from the previous installment. Jesse and his family have just moved into the neighborhood, on no other than Elm Street, in the exact same house as Nancy from part one. Jesse is a typical high school ‘pretty boy’ as his friend Grady calls him in the flick. He’s got a hot girlfriend, a car, and listens to 80′s music. Sounds good so far right? Well, after some restless sleep, he starts dreaming… (Read More…)

What happens when you mix deadly hooch, transients, psychotic transients and degradation of women? You get ‘Street Trash”. Before I start, I’m just going to say that all the characters names are forgetful, and will be referred to as “him” or “her” or that “bum”. So basically, Street Trash is a story that loosely, and I mean VERY loosely revolves around a community of hobos that live in the local scrapyard, and a bottle of hooch that was uncovered by a local liquor store owner that has some deadly properties… (Read More…)

Alright, so Evilspeak… it’s got Clint Howard, Ron Howards brother, and one of the ugliest mother fuckers on the planet, but that’s beside the point. Clint plays the role of Stanley Coopersmith, a student attending military school after his parents were killed in a car accident. Coopersmith isn’t like other students, he’s got a high IQ, is lousy at sports, and isn’t the most sociable character by any means. As a result, Coopersmith gets his ass kicked on a regular basis by a group of kids headed by this guy ‘Bubba’. So, the story goes like this.. (Read More…)