Mortuary is an early 80′s slasher flick featuring none other than a young Bill Paxton. The story revolves around a cloaked killer who targets a select group of people, and impales them with a nifty embalming tool. At the start of the flick, the audience witnesses the death of a man by a swimming pool, killed with a blunt object. We find out later that this character was the father of one of the lead female characters (Christie). From then, we’re introduced to another main character, Greg, and his friend who I can’t remember. They break into a mortuary where the friend works to steal some shit. (Read More…)

So here we have a movie titled Nightwish from 1989. It features a bunch of no name actors, but it does feature Brian Thompson, the rugged looking bounty hunter from the x-files, and countless other films/tv shows. Basically, the plot of this movie is that a bunch of student head to a supposedly haunted mansion with their professor to research some reported ghostly phenomena and other weirdness. At the start of the film, you have students in a lab being subjected to isolation chambers where they have fucked up dreams and all that good stuff. Then shortly after that, they head to the mansion. (Read More…)

Island of the Damned is a pretty fucked up movie from the 70′s. The story revolves around a couple that visit an island where the husband had previously visited years ago. The big difference between his trip now and back in his hay day, is that the main center of town is deserted. After searching around town for a bit, they rest up at a restaurant, where they confront a young child, who quickly runs off after failing to communicate.  After the husband finds a phone, he hears a woman’s voice on the phone, but the woman is speaking German, so he can’t understand, but realizes she’s in distress. Things on the island are not as they seem apparently. A while later, an elderly man pops up out of nowhere, and is brutally bludgeoned to death by a disturbingly cheerful young teenage girl. After the wife of the couple witnesses this event, she freaks out and from hereon, the shit hits the fan. We’re introduced to new characters, an older gentleman who knows that something is wrong on the island confronts the couple, saying that the children on the island have gone mad. Of course, he gets brutally mauled to death after being led by one of the children who tells the man they know where his child is. (Read More…)

First of all, I’m sick of all the comic-book-to-movie bullshit that is going on all over the place in Hollywood nowadays.  Why did I decide to try and watch this then?  Hell, I don’t know, I guess it’s because it’s popular and looked like it had some cool action in it but after watching about 20 minutes I turned it off, LOL.  Yes, LOL.

The only cool thing I did see in these first 20 minutes was a cameo by James Franco who comes off as a total douchebag drug dealing club owner and gets blown up because of it.  Haahaha.

Apparently Seth Rogen is supposed to play the Green Hornet and be the superhero-du-jour but instead just came across as another actor trying to cash in on this comic book faze.  Kato?  Some guy named Jay Chou that I don’t think anyone has ever heard about. (Read More…)

“The People Under The Stairs” is a 1991 horror movie directed by Wes Craven. Pointdexter aka “Fool”, a young black teenager lives in a LA Ghetto and one day his whole family is evicted by their local slumlords, the Robesons.

Fool is warned by his grandfather that the Robesons are in fact brother and sister but live as a couple and keep tons of inbreds, talk about loco. However Leroy (Fool’s sister’s friend) has a great idea: he should rob the Robsesons’ house to revenge! The boy reluctantly agrees to assist him. Leroy first poses as a boy scout selling cookies and asks to use the bathroom, in vain. Then Spencer, an accomplice, pretends to be a government worker of some sort but is denied entry as well. Spencer doesn’t come back so Leroy and Fool decide to break in by force.

They discover a high-security environment with old fashioned furnitures. Fool ends up in the basement and realizes the rumors were actually true: the crazy “couple” keeps inbreds in the house, many of them are mutilated and reduced to being cannibalistic animals. The Robesons come back and shoot Leroy, killing him in the process. (Read More…)